This weekend was rough.
As I pushed and pushed and pushed with every ounce of myself for funds last week, as the weekend came, I found myself stuck in this rut of self-doubt and lack of motivation.
I began to think of myself as a lost cause- tearing myself down because I was constantly coming up short of my goals.
Worst of all, I was not only doubting myself, but I began to doubt the Father.
At training camp, everything was so clear. I was hearing the Lord speak to me in new ways that I never had before. His plan for me and my calling to a life on mission seemed to be displayed on neon billboards and flashing lights, all as obnoxiously flashy as an amusement park. But it was there. It was finally obvious enough for me to comprehend. For the first time my eyes, hands and heart were wide open- it finally all made sense.
But have you ever seen an abandoned amusement park?
The colors have faded, the lights are off, and all the rides are out of order. All the parts are there, but the joy is gone.
That’s where I was at.
My problem was, I was wandering around, expecting things to change. Expecting the joy and happiness and motivation to come back if I stood there long enough.
(and I know I’m not the only one who does this.)
We stand around waiting for God to be a magician or genie that will snap his fingers and clap his hands to refocus our eyes.
The reality is- the amusement park in our minds is never really abandoned.
God still sees each and every color, bright as ever. The lights are still flashing in his eyes. The rides are whirling, twirling, and full of laughter.
THE JOY IS THERE EVEN WHEN WE CHOOSE NOT TO SEE IT.
Let me say that one more time. (A little louder for the people in the back.)
The joy is still there, even when we choose not to see it.
I’ve got this image in my mind of God. He’s wearing these glasses. They’re heaven’s prescription love glasses- He never takes them off.
(Please tell me I’m not the only one picturing Morgan Freeman in heart shaped sunglasses… It’s not weird, I promise.)
Now, every moment of every day, we have the option to wear the same prescription love glasses that God does- but He doesn’t force us to.
When we do so, we see through His eyes- the flashy, colorful, joyful side of life.
When we don’t, we only harm ourselves. Nothing seems good enough. We throw ourselves pity parties.
This weekend, I took off my rose-colored glasses because life got difficult. Today, I’ve put them back on.
Guess what?! YOU CAN DO IT TO!
Come on, do it. Put on those crazy heart-shaped love glasses. Trust me , you’ll feel great.
You’ll find joy in that half-melted smoothie you’re drinking and the pants you’ve been wearing for three days and the fact that your hair is that millimeter too short to put in a bun- because the Father loves it all the same. (real talk y’all.)
But you’ll also find joy in the hard stuff, like the fact that your fundraising deadline is Friday and you’re still $1,700 short, because you can look back and realize that you’ve already been blessed with over $8,000. (also real talk.)
So do it with me, and watch how quickly the lights click on and the colors come back.
I encourage every single person reading this to leave a comment below telling me (and everyone else reading!!) the things- big things and small things- that you’re joyful for. If you’d like, you can type your name in as “Anonymous”. I promise, it won’t hurt my feelings!
(Don’t forget to leave your joy below!)
Originally posted on haydenschwarting.theworldrace.org